Sometimes, I think I forget that readers realize I’m a real person. I’m a human being who isn’t perfect, makes mistakes, and licks the icing spoon just like many of my readers. So in order to remind you guys that I’m human, I thought I’d make tonight’s post a fun little confession post.
It vaguely reminds me of truth, dare, double dare, promise or repeat. Anyone else ever play that at childhood sleepovers?
1. I don’t wash my fruit before eating it at least half the time. Maybe I should stick to fruits I peel.
2. As soon as I walk through the door, after a long day of work I want nothing more than to strip off my work clothes and put on old boxers which are an XL and one of Bo’s tshirts.
3. Speaking of t-shirts, I wear Bo’s more than mine because I prefer lounging in L or XL tshirts than S or M.
4. I take things to work with good intentions of running errands during the day. But, that clearly doesn’t work because right now I have the following under my desk:
- Broken Penguin which needs to be exchanged at Williams-Sonoma (circa Jan 10, 2011)
- A pair of shoes I bought at Bloomingdales which don’t fit (circa Oct 22, 2010)
- A pile of books, magazines, etc for my mom (circa this week)
- A blog prize which was never claimed (circa May 2010)
5. I still haven’t ordered any of my NYC Marathon photos because I can’t figure out which package to order or whether to have them make a plaque. Suggestions?
6. Today, one of my co-workers and readers, called me out at work for eating a mini cupcake that I didn’t take a picture. Just to be clear, I take pictures of my meals, but rarely my snacks. Please believe I do not just eat 3 square meals a day. Would you all like more food pictures?
7. I love that my husband is an amazing cook chef/cook but I wish he’d learn to share the kitchen better. I call it the curse of a New York kitchen. He jumps up and starts cooking and suddenly there is no room. I think I just need to use one side of the counter for sides (me) and one side for mains (him).
8. Sometimes weight gain isn’t all bad. As much as I’d like to lose these pesky 8 pounds, I’m 10x happier and healthier now, both mentally and emotionally, than I was 35 pounds ago.
I thought I looked awesome at this point in my life but I was miserable. I could count my ribs in the picture below and my hair was visibly thinning. Also, there are literal indentions on the side of my face. 
I wasn’t happy and food, even healthy things like avocado or bananas were my enemy.
Really? As you can see in this picture my head is an akward size. This isn’t due to bad photography. This is due to my unhappiness and focus on limiting everything in my life. 
….not sure where all this came from but it feels good to be out there. I’m sure more will come in the following days.
What is your confession?
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{ 32 comments… read them below or add one }
I think it’s so amazing that you did this post
It’s hard to put all of that out there, you are such an awesome person!
Thank you so much Kali. I sort of just put it all out there. We’ll see how the reactions are.
Amazing post Ali. As a newer reader, I didn’t know you had this time in your life. I’d be interested in what changed that led you to the (seemingly) healthier place you are at now. Also, with your current weight-loss goals, do you ever worry about going back to “that place”?
Also as a reader, i like reading blogs BETTER when the writer shows their “real person” side! I am totally the same way with not being able to wear work clothes for more than 0.5 seconds after walking in the door…
Thanks Jen. Except, my name is Ashley, not Ali. I’m guessing you read my friend, Ali on the Run’s blog.
I can definitely address that question in a blog post later this week. Thanks for the comment and great idea!
Hahaha, ooops, yep, too many blogs in one night for me!
Hi Ashley,
I’ve been reading your blog for a while and you are so inspiring! I’m 5’10″ and not meant to be super skinny, but have ALWAYS strived to be, killing myself over that “perfect” weight. Only in the last year or so have I really started to believe that living a healthier, more balanced life is the key to being a healthy and natural weight! You are so inspiring to me! As one commenter said earlier, I would love to hear your backstory- how you got to this place, what made you start running, etc. It would be great to know
Thanks for your blog!
P.S. you look amazing at your current weight- so much more radiant and healthy looking!
Love #2. I have a fav pair of XL grey sweatpants and an old sorority hoodie that I change into within 5 min of getting home from work/gym!
Thank you for a candid post tonight. It is comforting to hear others struggle with similar issues (ie the “pesky 8 pounds”).
Wow…thanks for sharing! this is very real and what many deal with. I hope many find comfort and hope in your post.
I love blogger confession posts! I am absolutely happier now than I was 10 pounds ago too. Thin does not always equal perfectly happy!
Love this post! And I often skip washing my fruit, too…I haven’t gotten sick yet, but it’s nice to know I’m not the only one who does this
I LOVE this post. I knew when you tweeted it that it would be a good one, before I even read it
You do look so much happier, healthier and more radiant now. (But the dress in that last photo is ADORABLE.) Maybe I will do a post like this soon…
Thanks for sharing!! I would also be interested in your journey to the happy, healthy woman we see now. Happiness looks different on every person and it is very easy to forget that.
I would love a husband who cooks with no room for me in the kitchen. I’ve tried, but I have no interest in cooking.
I also love to immediately change into L and XL shirts to lounge around in although my boyfriend hates it!
I was going to do a confessions post soon too! Thanks for sharing!! I never was fruit or veggies and I’m still alive. I’m glad you are happier and healthier now. Weight is just a number!
What an amazing post! YOu can tell it came from your heart and I can defiantly relate to you on many levels. I love changing the minute I get home too it must be a “corporate thing”.
Although I have never met you in person I can tell you are so much healthier and happier now from your pictures and post
I don’t usually wash fruit either. My mom never did and I didn’t know that’s what you were supposed to do until high school. Unrelated side note, I also have that black silk J.Crew halter top
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how probably 75% of women in the US have a dysfunctional relationship with food, and how it’s actually so prevalent that it’s considered “normal.” It’s so sad. I’ve been there too, and all I can say is that it brings a smile to my face whenever someone writes a post like this- because each individual’s victory brings us that much closer to redefining the way society thinks as a whole. A healthy weight is a very important factor in our overall health, but an obsession with it only leads to unhappiness and a loss of other interests and relationships. I’m glad you’ve found a place where you feel both comfortable in your own skin and healthy!!
Love this post. I bring stuff to work all the time with errand intentions and it never happens. Nothing is better than coming home and lounging around in x or xl clothes
I would also love to hear about your history with food/dieting and how you were able to get happy and healthy again. Congrats!
I never wash my fruit, glad to know I am not the only one! I never get sick so I figure its not hurting me.
I do the same exact things when I come home! It’s awesome that you can feel happy about your body!
Great post. I rarely comment but felt the need too after seeing those photos. I, too, look back on photos from a time in college (also at UGA!) when I was experiencing disordered exercising and eating patterns. I’m so much happier now than I was back then, even if I weigh 10 or 15ish pounds more. Like I’ve said many times since then, I exercise to be strong instead of skinny now. Your marathon story has totally inspired me to complete the NYRR’s 9+1 program this year to run my first marathon in 2012.
Excellent post – I think we all have our own confessions & there is nothing wrong with them!
I immediately change into fleece/yoga pants and a t-shirt when i get home. In fact, half the time my husband sees my work clothes, he swears they are new as he is never home when I get home from work. Doesn’t matter if I’ve had them for years, I’m never in work clothes when he get home
Real people are my favorite and by far the most wonderful, in my opinion
Confession: Oh sister this could go on for ages, I relate to SO much that you said! How about, I just read your post while eatting a fuji apple that was DEFINITELY not washed 
It’s really great that you put it all out there. I am working on this very thing on my blog. I hope to get there one day!
also, the first thing I do everyday when I get home from work is put on pajamas. I can’t stand lounging around the house in anything other than clothing several sizes too big.
Ashley,
I definitely don’t think you should take pictures of every single food you eat. I think that might start an unhealthy obsession. I would only do the snack cupcake if it had an amazing design on it or something
Also, I’m glad you aren’t as skinny as you are in those pictures. You just look too skinny! As Anne of Green Gables says, it’s much more romantic to be slender than to be skinny! And you are slender! I think 8 extra pounds is great. You’re healthier than most people I know, so maybe your body likes that 8 lbs!
I hope you’re feeling better today and not getting sick!
Kat
PS – I just got the favors in for the Rehearsal Day 5K! I’m so excited!!!
I found your blog through Theodora’s and I’ve seen you on Meghann’s blog before and I never would have thought you went through that. In all the pictures I’ve seen of you, you look so radiant and happy and healthy and I never would have thought you went through those issues. I hope we get to learn more about the back story of that – it makes me like you that much more knowing you’ve gone through this. I’m finally coming out of an eating disorder that I’ve had for 8 years, have put on a “healthy” 30 pounds, and food is finally not the enemy. Like you, at times I think about losing those last 5 lbs. and look back on pictures when I was thinner, but I remember how miserable I was and I would never want to go back to that place again. I’m so much healthier and happier and nothing can ever replace that, not even being a certain weight. Thank you for your confessions, I hope we get to learn more about that part of you and it’s truly inspiring how healthy and happy you are now.
P.S. You look absolutely gorgeous that way you are now…and it’s the happiness that shines through
I just saw this post. I’m crying, you are AMAZING! So proud to call this gorgeous, fabulous bear my cousin!!
We must be related, I too have an awful pile of must-do’s I keep in my trunk – including, horror, a pair of wrong size jeans I bought at Macy’s for Rich in … December 2009. I meant to return them… “What makes us most human is also what makes us most lovable”
Thank you love! It means so much to me to have reader and family support! Maybe we should make it a goal to take care of one of our things in the trunk, under our desk, etc each week.
…the “i’m here because you broke something” t-shirt sitting behind me on the couch that needs to be exchanged for a larger size, the laptop that needs to get to the UPS store *today*, mt. recyclemore next to the door…
you look like a million bucks, kiddo
I love when I find out family members read my blog.
Thanks again! Yes, Mer and I decided that we’re all definitely related. Maybe we should make a plan for getting rid of one thing per week that’s in our apartment, trunk, or under our desk. 
Hey Ashley,
I love the honest post! I would love to hear more about how you managed to find your “happy weight.” It’s been something I’ve been struggling with for a while.
Thanks!
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